Intro: At Last I Write.
The weekend after a quick weekend trip to Cali, some time to finally reflect. It has been so hard to sit down and write something and be positive, as this year I faced so much negative energy that I fought to overcome. Overwhelmingly so, unlike anything I ever experienced in the running community. A community filled with so much positive energy, so many amazing people pursuing the best out of themselves. Inspiring me to be my best. Then came 2019, and as I continued my upward trajectory, my pursuit for excelsior, blind-sided by negativity from some of the least expected places. There were attempts to extract out of me unrealistic demands for my time and pressure to conform to unrealistic agendas. As if my life was some project following a project management schedule like the ones I learned about in business school. I would rather continue to ride and latch on to all that is good with running. Negativity was bound to expose itself. It goes to show that the old adage is true: What goes up must come down. And right now I am down, injured with a hip injury that doesn’t even allow me to run to catch the train, let alone run 26.2 miles.
In the immediate term I blame myself. Most people who know me well know that I beat myself up
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| 2019 UAE 10K captured by CPTC-NB teammate Johnny Zhang |
That being said, I reflect on training and running my 2019 target race: my 5thTCS New York City Marathon. I have always said this, and this year these words are even more meaningful, “With every marathon training cycle, the bullshit that wasn’t meant for you goes away.” Then you are forced to move forward with the limited resources you have, because the goal is to keep moving forward and keep growing. This training cycle was totally a metaphor of this idea.
You are riding a high, you think you are on top of the world after surviving the Boston Marathon, running a strong Berlin despite some noticeable injury red flags, and hobbling your way through Tokyo, Japan with the support of your true and authentic friends. Good things are happening with a promising future ahead, but then you are unexpectedly blind-sided. Recovery after Tokyo was noticeably slower. Is this the effects of aging? Is my brain and energy preoccupied with doing well in my new job? Where is my mental health really at? It was a battle to merely go for a regular training run. All signs pointed to much needed break from running. Yet, I still had the resolve to get up and train as needed to run this year’s marathon the best I can. A marathon that I previously deferred and was determined to complete and run well. At times I didn’t even want to wake up as self-doubt was as stronger as ever. Words seared into my consciousness by negative people who were always there to share criticism, skeptism, and consistent complaining. But I fought those voices, tuned myself back into living in the moment. Bring back the pre-Boston qualifying David. The one that took 6 years of running, all condensed in 8 months.
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| Some thoughts I posted during my birthday weekend as I run along the piers in my hometown of Brooklyn during my Tokyo recovery |
Ceasing the Moment with Every Race.
I signed up for more races to fight this negativity. Being around motivated runners was the self-prescribed medicine I needed to begin to lift the anchor that was weighing me down. It was one thing to remove the anchor, but that anchor leaves residual damage inhibiting me to self-energize, and it takes time to retrain and re-exercise your body to the energy it once had. . Running by myself in the suburbs of Long Island, though still enjoyable, was kept at a minimum. I needed the energy of other runners around me. I meditate, I listen to my body, I make note of even the slightest pain. I recognize the thoughts that cross my mind that my subconscious is releasing, to free myself of any mental health issues in the future.
The United Arab Emirates 10K in Central Park: it was my first real race back (I count my United Airlines NYC Half as a recovery celebration run after Tokyo). It was a tough race that saw me dealing with the rolling hills of Central park for one loop. But it was great to see all of my friends and recommit myself to this NYC run community. It also made me realize that I was not in the shape I wanted to be for the Brooklyn Half, so I logged in my 3rd DNS for that half as a smart way to let myself get some extra recovery.
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| Trail racing with my ACS peops in Milburn, NJ - May '19 |
After running some trails for my shorter long runs in May, even signing up for a 10 mile trail race with my ACS (American Cancer Society) in Milburn, New Jersey, I reverted my attention towards summer speed work. Dialing back the mileage and reminiscing on what gained me success in the past. The methods that got me a Boston Qualifier in the first place: speed work in the off-season to build strength. But I was a different runner. Little did I know that this year, the injury that first popped up during my Berlin training last year, was still hiding underneath.
I took on three NYRR Speed Series races and the Queens 10K. I was running heavy for all these races, struggling to get below 175 pounds, which is about 10 pounds over my ideal Boston Qualifying weight. These races certainly helped get some confidence back in my running over all. I’ve always felt like having the option to be able to switch into faster gears during a marathon can be very beneficial. I don’t know what training philosophy that prescribes to, but for me, I've always felt comfortable knowing that if I needed to be able to have a strong and fast finish in a long run race, I could do that with the right speed training.
All of these shorter races were already yielding better results than the shorter races I ran while I was still training to complete my 2ndhalf of the World Majors: Boston, Berlin, and Tokyo. I was running as if it was almost the David of old, pre 2016: 41 minute 10ks and 5:30 miles. I even tried my hand at some relay racing, running my best 800, sub-2:30 minute, ever. I was a stronger, yet still heavier runner. How would this play out in the Fall marathon training cycle. I didn’t care at the time! I was living in the moment and was feeling great!
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| Posing for a pic at Ichan Stadium after our NYRR Speed Series relay - July '19 |
Fall Marathon Training: A Little Bit of Old, a Little Bit of New
I kicked off my Fall Marathon training with a 12 mile pilgrimage long run, along the Charles River after work one Monday night while on travel for work. It was so necessary for me to get this cleansing run to kick off my training. It was beautiful because as all the shit seared into my subconscious was leaving, sweating it all away to where it needed to be in Boston, not to follow me back to New York City. I tested my fitness the following week at the Manhattan 7 mile: same rolling hills of the UAE 10k but just a little bit longer distance. The results on paper were similar, but the effort was clearly much better on the hot and steamy day. Two weeks later, I took bronze in my age group for my very first cross country race since middle school, at the legendary Van Cortlandt Park. At that point, my body was totally cleansed and I was clearly looking towards the future. Confidence had been back and I could only be excited for my running ahead. My goals for NYC were still modest, as I knew I wasn’t running the best I have ever run, but with each race, I would pay particular focus on my body, my thoughts, and how I felt to carry me to that next race.
I wrote my own training plan. I thought carefully about my previous 16 marathons and their training: what worked, what didn’t. I thought about the different courses I’ve run throughout this amateur running career, and where my head was at the time. And I thought about my previous four NYC marathons and how I trained for them. What made them special and what I learned from them. I was confident that with all my new knowledge, as well as understanding what worked for me in the past, I could run a strong race.
The Hip Pains Return
Why stop racing now! I was on a roll. Feeling confident and strong. Incorporating races into my training and deviating from what I originally wrote. Not looking for the personal best with each race, but for that confidence, that energy of friends who are there week in and week out. Selfies, tips, positive energy – all part of the vibrant NYC runner community that I love so much.
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| On my 3rd loop of Central Park captured by @run_maza_run at the NYRR 18 miler |
I took on the NYRR 18 miler – 3 tough loops of Central Park. An 18 mile PR for more confidence boosting. I could have run faster but after the 1st loop and second run of Harlem Hill in the counter clockwise direction, the hip pain began. At that point it felt like just a reactivation of what I've struggled with since Berlin training last year. It was an indication of me not warming up as much as I should have, so I thought. The run always seems to work itself out.
The next week I went back to New Jersey for another trail 10 miler with some ACS coaching friends. Soft and slow, I wanted to work on strengthening while still running long. Soft surfaces help in improving balance and makes for more efficient running on the roads. Plus the races seem to have way more post race perks than regular road races. It was a great recovery run from my hard fought 18 miler the week before and a segue for the Bronx 10 miler. I gained late entry, a race I did not plan to run the Bronx but I saw the opportunity to qualify for the United Airlines NYC Half in March 2020. Was this the smartest move? Probably not. Espeically since I still had my tune-up, bucket list race in Boston in the following two weeks that I had planned to marathon pace. But since I didn't run Brooklyn, I needed that race to get me into the NYC Half.
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| CPTC-NB Post race fun at the Bronx 10 mile |
All this racing, even if some were slower than others, were adding to my already damaged hip. I had a few 70 miles+ weeks in the months of September and first week of October. But I still enjoyed some great running at the Bronx 10 mile, running a strong 6:40 pace (another time in my career where I run faster than my 10k pace; still can’t figure that one out). It was my second fastest Bronx 10 mile of the 4 times I’ve run it and probably the fastest I’ve run a race over 10K in my 40s. There was absolutely no hip pains that day as I had gone through an extensive warm up prior, chatting with friends and team mates as we ran up and down Grand Concourse prior to the race start.
I should have done the same type of warm up for the BAA Half two weeks later in Boston. However, circumstances did not afford me this luxury, as I was having issues with the hotel I prepaid for . I was forced to stay out in Natick and pay a $40 Uber trip, just making it to the start. Despite the unexpected negativity (yes Boston Massachussetts, you always seem to unexpectedly bring in some negative energy into my life dating back to my business school days, but I always come out stronger) I started and ran a strong race. Mile 4 saw hip pains when I ran the first hill. By the second half after a couple of stops for dynamic stretching and my legs being fully warm, I ran at marathon goal pace for a strong finishes. I also got to share a post race meal with some Boston Marathoners Ive befriended since our 2018 Boston Marathon, through social media. It was relief, closure, positive energy, and a
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| Post race with Boston Marathon friends after the BAA Half |
The Final Exam: The 2019 TCS NYC Marathon
With two weeks before I was to run my 5thTCS NYC Marathon, exam time was upon me. I had to really cut back on the running during my taper because of my hip. The following week after my B.A.A. Half, my 16 mile Long Island suburb run was cut short by just one mile. For the first time, the hip pain did not go away after running a few warm up miles. It came at mile 4, again at mile 6, and then again at mile 14 and 15. I ended up having to call an Uber home that day and the worry bug started to hit.
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| Coach David and the ACS runners just off the bus, ready to run the five boroughs. |
I did too much racing this cycle, I ran practically every day even running slower pace for recovery days rather than do absolutely nothing. I had so many miles that even though every part of my body felt strong, those weak spots were weighing me down. I had that bad hip that migrated from the piroformis area to the hip flexor area. I had that left hamstring that had scar tissue dating back five years. What could have led to this? All the compensating to my right side avoiding my previous hamstring issues, finally gave way. (Again, microscopic analysis because you learn from the past to move forward in the future). It showed up at mile 7 at the NYC marathon.
Before I get into the NYC marathon though, let me just say, I was REALLY worried. Two weeks of taper that included anxiety and of course, some anger. I was so focused on just making sure I had the motivation to run, giving all this energy in coaching (of course this isn’t a regret at all and I will get into some of that in the paragraphs and phots to follow), and spending all this time on my professional and private life, that the training plan I set up for myself had fallen by the way side. I injected these races last minute to go against my own plan. I would do impromptu runs with some of the athletes I worked with while coaching at ACS. I did not train a proper marathon training cycle and I take full responsibility for that as well as my hip injury. But it is foolish to think that previous marathons and previous training cycles do not have an effect on where you are today.
Can a runner with no experience, train with the best coach in the world and be an Olympic qualifier on their first try? No!!
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| Happy runner despite the pain. 2019 TCS NYC Marathon |
So I analyze, I speak my truth. And of course, there will be those that do not want to hear this truth and will attempt to silence me. This cycle was a return to what got me into Boston in the first place: self-motivation, self-recovery, self-analyzing and self-correction. For my training to run Boston, Berlin, and Tokyo, I relied on others to keep me in line. Though it was a great learning experience, I now know that this is not what allows me to achieve my full potential; because you know yourself better than anyone. I would be better off just reading a book on marathon training and applying some of those principals rather than be totally dependent on someone who at the end of the day is only enriching themselves.
Getting the Most Out of this Running Lifestyle
Speaking of reading books on marathons: two of the athletes I worked with at ACS came to me and told me about reading Hanson’s Marathon method. They found success using this method with one qualifying for Boston after only her third try, and the other debuting at a sub 4 marathon.(Shout out to Synda and Rachael for their inspirational performances) Besides these two, most of the athletes I helped coach were first time marathoners. It was amazing to see the transformation these athletes underwent from their first training run, until finishing their marathon. It allowed me to experience this running lifestyle in a whole new way that brought me new joy I have yet to experience. The joy in helping others succeed. A phenomenal feeling!!
I used these early morning Saturday sessions with ACS as an easy run to set me up for my long runs the next day. However, some of these runs turned into some mid long runs at a decent effort and pace, 9:00 to 10:00 minutes per mile. This would certainly have an effect on my long runs and my hip. It didn’t matter. I was having fun, I was enjoying the moment, and I was feeling good about contributing to this great cause. I was getting the most out of my running and all the therapeutic benefits that doesn’t always mean running your fastest times.
Representing the American Cancer Society - ACS:
Now we fast forward back to mile 7 of the marathon where the hip pains returned. Two nights before, Ria the Muscle Whisperer flew in to NYC and did all she can to remove any inflammation in the affected area. I had anxiety the last two weeks from no running and was worried that this injury would cause my first DNF. Ria’s hand provided some temporary relief and healing but it was clear at mile 7 when I came to an abrupt stop on 4thAvenue in Brooklyn (while looking for my friend who held a sign up for me.. only the 2ndtime in my 17 marathons), that this injury was more serious.
I had to finish. I was representing ACS. On another day I would have accepted a DNF to save my body from any more damage, But most people that know me well, know David is stubborn, He starts something, he is unrelenting in finishing it. I had raised over $1500 to benefit the American Cancer Society. This one was for my donors. This one was also for the athletes I had worked with, to inspire them to fight through and finish who had never experienced a marathon finish. This one was for all the negative crap I went through this year that I finally released myself from, that I had analyzed and made myself aware for the next time I see those red flags.
So I focused. I forced myself to ignore the pain on my right with every foot strike, realizing that I began compensating by applying more weight on my left side. The same left side that had the weak hamstring from previous years injuries. It went well for me getting through the halfway point in shear pain in 1 hour 35 minutes, still a BQ pace. By the time I exited the Queensboro Bridge, mile 16 and some change, my left hamstring experienced a different kind of cramp. It was the kind of cramp that, though still painful, made me aware that all the scar tissue from previous cramps were still there. But this one was a slower burn instead of that bullet wound shot I have experienced in the past. I came to a complete stop as I noticed my teammate, Ron Romano, whisk by me. I let out a scream so loud on the sidewalk before turning the corner to view the thunderous crowds. The burn was painful, and now I had to deal with a tender left hamstring and a painful right hip, while the determination to finish was still strong within me.
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| Pre-race dinner at NYU Kimmel Center with ACS volunteers, coaches and athletes. |
I was lucky that the First Avenue stretch is one that allows runners to run efficiently in a straightforward path. It was all strength and stamina with no kick as I proceeded to the Willis Avenue Bridge. Even on this bridge, though my pace slowed dramatically from 7:30 to over 9, I resolved to keep running, with no walking stops. I was especially motivated when I saw Kathy Repperger, Boston Marathon friend from Florida, who passed me with such grace and strength. Her pace was ever so consistent on the incline and decline of this bridge, running a strong race on a tough course. She gave me a sweet hello that provided that energized boost to stay strong when I started to fade, and stay focused on running.
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| Only the 2nd sign made for me in my 17 marathons by Julie along 4th Avenue in Brooklyn |
I ignored the pain, but in the Bronx I was stubbornly headed for disaster. It wasn’t until I saw some of my fellow ACS coaches past mile 20, with receiving Jennifer’s pre-planned Poland Spring water bottle, that I came to my senses. I inhaled that water within minutes as it was a sign of dehydration. I was going to finish, and it wouldn’t be my best race. Immediately after taking that last sip, my Six Star brother from Australia, Stephen Orr, realized I was in bad shape. In his thick accent he says, “Live to fight another race champ, today isn’t the day!” And he was right. So while Jen’s water allowed some blood to flow back to my brain, with Stephen’s words of wisdom I slowed down. I allowed myself to recover a little bit the last 10k, running at over 10 minutes per mile. I enjoyed some of the familiar faces, giving a sweaty hug to Audrey just before the Wall of Orange. I caught two great shots from the best photographers in NYC in my book, both Andy Kiss and John Le Tran. It was a phenomenal day and I ran the last hour just smiling. Following Eliud Kipchoge’s advice that you smile to trick your brain to ignore whatever pain you are feeling during a marathon. As I said in my social media post at the time, this wasn’t my initial strategy, but as I was smiling, it had actually worked. I enjoyed this run probably more so than previous marathons.
The Takeaway from Marathon Number 17
I had a chance to experiment with all that I have learned this training cycle. I incorporated some new knowledge while re embracing some of the old training routines where I found previous success. I freed myself from all sources of negative energy, people who were consistently providing negative energy through their complaints, demands, pressure, and ultimatums. I helped coach a group of runners that allowed me to absorb some of their youthful, positive energy, getting me through this training cycle with joy, and freeing myself of those negative demons mentioned. I raised money for cancer research, because I started running as a charity runner, and it has always been my primary motivation top start running more than 10 years ago. This 2019 TCS New York City Marathon, which was the biggest to date with over 53,000 finishers and millions of cheering spectators, was the perfect end to a training cycle that saw a little bit of everything.
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| Kathy Repperger, pictured here near her finish, gives me a boost at the Willis Avenue Bridge. |
Somewhere along the way chasing fast times was something that became a thing for me, but the real joy is in the sharing. Yes I am still a failure at achieving a sub 3 marathon, I was once a failure at achieving a Boston Qualifier. But with every marathon I get better and stronger. And the real value is in the people meet, and the people I identify for removal. Because not everyone that comes your way, has your best interest. Sometimes when you achieve fast times, your success will bring on people with an agenda, people that seek to use your success for their own gain, to enrich themselves in whatever way they conspire. For me, running will always be that pure joy I use to keep me healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Fast times, and achievements will come and one day I will plateaux. I never pictured myself as having a Boston Marathon Medal or a Abbotts World Marathon Majors Six Star medal. And one day, I would like to be able to say I've raised over tens of thousands of dollars for cancer research. I will always continue to pursue my best. The coaching lane is certainly an avenue that will help get the most out of running. But living in the moment, and making the most of what you have available at the present is always and will always be my approach to running. I never ever want running to be a source of pressure, stress and negativity. And even when I encounter it in the runner community, which I finally have in more ways than one this 2019 calendar year, it will be extinguished from my life.
BONUS PICS:
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| NYC Marathon finishers with CPTC-NB teammate Sarah Richardson |
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| With ACS Rockstars Rachael, Synda, and Karen before our race. |
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| My Six Star sister, Queens Distance Runner, Denny Moran at the Start Village |
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| Start line with CPTC-NB teammate, Nigel McGregor |
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| CPTC-NB Masters, with Alan Ruben and Charles Parchment, NYC Marathon finishers |
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| Trading constant positive energy since first meeting my friend at the Long Island Marathon 4 years ago. WSX runner, Omar Villegas |
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| Coach David celebrating with first time marathon finishers Erica and Sophie |
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| Teamwork makes the dreamwork, our amazing coaching staff at ACS celebrating |
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| Late celebration with CPTC-NB teammates |
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